


Talk Smutty to Me

by maliayukimura



Series: Allison Argent Rarepair Week 2016 [3]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bookstore, Alternate Universe - Human, Dorks in Love, Established Relationship, F/F, Fluff, Humor, making fun of romance novels, some sexual content taken out of context, teen wolf bingo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-05
Updated: 2016-01-05
Packaged: 2018-05-11 20:42:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5641186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maliayukimura/pseuds/maliayukimura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Allison and Malia go on a date at a bookstore and spend their time trying to find the funniest line in a romance novel.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Talk Smutty to Me

Allison and Malia have been dating for months now. In order to keep things interesting, they took turns planning fun dates with each other. Last time, Allison took Malia to a place where you get to smash porcelain plates against a concrete wall.

This time, it was Malia’s turn to plan the date.  When Allison received the text from Malia to meet her outside of _Beacons Books_ , she was a little confused but still excited for their date.

Allison was double checking her messages to make sure that she got the place right when Malia showed up. She greeted her with a kiss.

“Hello, Beautiful,” Malia greeted after giving Allison a peck on the lips. “Are you ready for our date?”

“Of course,” Allison answered, smiling brightly. “Although I wish I knew what we’re doing at a bookstore.”

Malia let out a small laugh. “I thought we’d have our date here,” she said. “I thought it’d be much different than our usual dates, but don’t worry, we’ll still have fun here.”

“But what are we going to do at a _bookstore_?” Allison asked.

Malia smiled and held out her hand for Allison to take. “Why don’t we find out then.”

The two girls entered the bookstore together. They spent some time browsing the new arrivals section, commenting on which books looked interesting. They spent a good twenty minutes combing through the new books until Malia pulled on Allison’s hand, dragging her over to the romance section.

“Romance novels?” Allison asked, laughing slightly. “I thought you were more of a dystopian type of girl. Or are you saying that our sex life needs some spicing up?”

Malia laughed and then kissed Allison. “Oh please, like there’s anything on earth greater than you in bed,” she said. “These books are hilarious; they’re so bad that they’re actually good.”

“Well you’re not so bad yourself either,” Allison replied, smirking.

Malia picked up a book off of the shelf. It had a woman in a regal ball gown clinging desperately to shirtless man with long flowing hair and a royal crown on its cover. It was entitled _Seduction of the King’s Court_. She proudly displayed the book to Allison, a huge smile on her face.

“Get a load of this one,” Malia said, opening the book and flipping to a random page. She batted her eyes at Allison and read in a sultry voice, “ _His hands unlaced her corset with such delicacy as though he was handling a brand new pair of Air Jordans._ ”

“I didn’t realize they had Air Jordans in the seventeenth century,” Allison giggled as Malia reached for another book. It was called _Servicing the Secret Service_ and had what appeared to be a woman’s well-manicured hands pulling on a man’s tie, with an American flag pin in clear view.  Allison plucked the book out of Malia’s hands and turned to a random page.

“ _His manhood stood at full attention, stiff and stony like a vice president_ ,” Allison read, giggling over every word.

Malia threw her head back laughing. “Oh god, that’s a good one,” she remarked. “How about we make this interesting? Whoever finds the most ridiculous line in one of these books doesn’t have to pay for our coffee at the in-store café.”

“Well you know how much I like free coffee,” Allison said, smirking. “You’re so on.”

And with that, the two girls were off picking up books, looking for ridiculous lines to read out. They took turns reading and laughing over the books. Despite the two girls being really competitive, this contest was more about having fun rather than actually winning.

“ _With his broad shoulders and slim waist, he was a yield sign – but she could not stop._ ”

“ _His fingers probed her as if he was digging in his pockets, looking for his missing car keys._ ”

“ _She entered the room to find Jedediah lying expectantly on the bed, naked and as erect as a grain silo_.”

“ _Her sun-glazed back formed a golden arch as he traveled down to her happy meal and he was determined to get the toy at the end._ ”

Allison burst out laughing at that last one. “Oh my god, you win!” she cried out, trying to catch her breath from laughing so hard. “That has got to be the best one ever.”

Malia laughed and smiled widely. She laid the fast food romance book back on the shelf and took Allison’s hand. “Come on, let’s go get some food. I’m starting to get hungry,” she said.

The two girls walked over to the little store café to get themselves some coffee and muffins. They spent most of their time together, talking about those terrible books and laughing. Allison had been confused and a little nervous about having their date at a bookstore, but in the end, everything turned out great. She had such a great time with Malia that she didn’t even mind paying for the coffee and food, even if Malia always ordered the most ridiculously complicated and sugary latte order in the world.

**Author's Note:**

> Day Three: Favourite MOGAI/LGBT+ Ship  
> For my Bookstore AU square on my Teen Wolf Bingo card. 
> 
> Disclaimer: I mean no disrespect to writers, but it's just that some romance novels have the most ridiculous lines in them. I was thinking about the one line from 50 Shades of Grey about 'her face turning the shade of the Communist Manifesto' when I was writing this.
> 
> Come find me on tumblr [here](http://www.maliayukimura.tumblr.com)


End file.
